I love to be in control. I hate being unprepared or caught off guard. I feel vulnerable and insecure when I don't know what is going to happen. I wish I had a GPS for life. I wonder how many times I would have turned right instead of left had I had one of those?
My mom once told me that there is no recipe, no magic formula that you can adhere to and have a perfect life. We can never prepare ourselves for the people we'll encounter or the circumstances that life will throw our way. Being a mother myself, I am learning everyday that I really don't have nearly as much control in life as I would like to think! Kate has taught me that I can never be completely prepared for what the day will bring. A certain degree of flexibility must be introduced in order to accommodate her development and her needs. It's not just about me. Sometimes that means that I don't have the cleanest house in town or the groceries just didn't get done because Kate threw a temper tantrum in the middle of the store.
Yes, I can't control my life. Accepting that is a glorious feeling. What I can control, what I will control is the way in which I choose to live my life. With love, with laughter and with grace. I can take the high road and live so that my daughter has a mother to be proud of. I can show my daughter there is beauty in imperfection. Yes, Kate, I will show you that life is an adventure and you never know what's going to come at you next. And when you let go of that control you're free to soar.
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